It is necessary to teach (flog) while lying across the bench! Parents speak, sometimes taking this expression literally. For a long time in Russia, birch rods were part of the educational process – in some families, children were even flogged regularly on Fridays “for prophylaxis.” In our time, physical punishment is akin to medieval execution.
True, for some moms and dads this question remains open …
The content of the article:
Why parents beat their children – the main reasons why mom and dad resort to physical punishment
Many parents beat their children without even thinking – is it bad and what the consequences might be. They habitually fulfill their “parental duty” by giving children a head-pad left and right, and hanging a strap on a stud to intimidate them.
Where does this medieval cruelty come from in fathers and mothers?
- Heredity. The most common option for taking out children’s grievances on their own children. Such parents simply do not understand that there is another way, without violence. They firmly believe that a good cuff fixes the educational material in the child’s head.
- Lack of time and desire to raise a child, explain, conduct long conversations. It is much easier to give a slap than to sit next to the baby, talk about the differences in “good / bad”, help the child to understand and outgrow his pranks.
- Lack of basic knowledge about raising children. Tortured by the whims of the baby, the parent picks up the belt out of despair. Simply because he does not know “how to deal with this small parasite.”
- Taking out anger for your failures, problems, etc. These “nice people” beat the children, because there is no one else to fall for. The boss is a bastard, the salary is minimal, the wife is disobedient, and here you are, a mischievous spinner, spinning under your feet. On you for this in the pope. The stronger the child’s fear, the louder his roar, the more delight daddy breaks off on him for all his failures, in order to feel the power and “power” at least somewhere. The worst thing in this situation is when there is no one to intercede for the baby.
- Mental problems. There are also such mothers-fathers whom you cannot feed with bread – let them beat the child, yell, arrange debriefing right from the early morning. So that later, having reached the desired “condition”, hug the exhausted child and cry with him. Such parents undoubtedly need the help of a specialist.
What is related to physical punishment of children?
Physical punishment is usually considered not only the direct use of brute force with the aim of “influencing” the child. In addition to the belt, moms and dads use slippers and towels, hand out cuffs, slap on the buttocks “on the machine” and out of habit, put them in a corner, push and shake children, grab their sleeves, pull the hair, force-feed (or vice versa – not fed), long and harshly ignored (family boycott), etc.
The list of punishments can be endless. And the goal is always the same – to hurt, to show the place, to demonstrate power.
Most often, according to statistics, children under 4 years old who are not yet able to defend themselves, hide, and rebel with a fair “for what?” are subjected to punishment.
Children respond to physical pressure with even worse behavior, which provokes moms and dads to a new surge of punishment. This is how “Cycle of violence” in the familywhere two adults are not even able to think about the consequences …
Is it possible to beat a child or spank at all – all the consequences of physical punishment
Does physical punishment have advantages? Of course not. Whoever says that sometimes a light “bashing” is more effective than a week of persuasion, and that a stick is definitely needed for a carrot – this is not so.
Because every such action has certain consequences …
- Baby’s fear of a parent, on which he depends (and, in spite of everything, loves) over time develops into a neurosis.
- Against the background of an already existing neurosis and fear of punishment it will be difficult for a child to adapt to society, make friends, and then build personal relationships and a career.
- The self-esteem of a child raised by such methods is always underestimated. The kid remembers the “right of the strong” for the rest of his life. He will use this right himself – at the first opportunity.
- Regular flogging (and other punishments) affects the psyche of the baby, which results in developmental delay…
- A child who is often punished unable to focus on lessons or play with peers. He is constantly waiting for attacks from mom and dad and is internally grouped in anticipation of punishment.
- More than 90% (according to statistics) that a child beaten by parents will treat their children the same way.
- More than 90% of criminals were subjected to domestic violence in childhood. You don’t want to raise a maniac, do you? Not to mention individual cases (alas, proven facts) in which some children suddenly begin to enjoy the whipping, eventually turning into real masochists rather than hypothetical ones with all the ensuing consequences.
- A constantly punished child loses his sense of reality, ceases to learn, to solve emerging problems, experiences a constant feeling of guilt, fear, anger and a thirst for revenge.
- With each slap on the head, your child is farther and farther away from you. The baby’s natural bond with parents is disrupted. There will never be mutual understanding and trust in a family where there is violence. Growing up, a child who will not forget anything will give tyrant parents a lot of problems. What can we say about the old age of such parents – their fate is unenviable.
- The humiliated and punished child is catastrophically lonely. He feels forgotten, broken, unnecessary, thrown “to the side of fate.” It is in this state that children do stupid things – they go to bad companies, start smoking, get involved with drugs, or even take their own lives.
- Entering the “educational rage”, the parent does not control himself. A child caught by the arm can be accidentally injured. And even incompatible with life, if at the moment of falling from father’s (or mother’s) cuff it hits a corner or some sharp object.
Have a conscience, parents – be human! At least wait until the child grows to the same weight category with you, and then think – to beat or not to beat.
Alternatives to physical punishment – you can’t beat children after all!
It should be clearly understood that physical punishment is far from a manifestation of a parent’s strength. This is a manifestation of his WEAKNESS. His inability to find a common language with the child. And, in general, the failure of a person as a parent.
Excuses like “he doesn’t understand otherwise” are just excuses.
In fact, you can always find an alternative to physical punishment …
- Distract the child, turn his attention to something interesting.
- To captivate the child with an occupation, during which he will not want to be capricious, naughty, etc.
- Hug a child, say about your love for him and just spend at least a couple of hours of your “precious” time with him personally. After all, it is precisely the attention that the baby lacks so much.
- Come up with a new game. For example, who will collect the most scattered toys in 2 large baskets. And the reward is a long bedtime story from mom. This is much more effective than any cuff and slap on the head.
- Use loyal methods of punishment (deprive TV, laptop, cancel a trip or trip to the skating rink, etc.).
You can learn get along with a child without punishing him at all…
Ways – the sea! There would be a fantasy, and there would be a parental desire – to find an alternative. And there would be a clear understanding that children should never be beaten under any circumstances!
Have there been similar situations in your family life with the physical punishment of a child? And how did you proceed? Share your stories in the comments below!
Must share this useful content with your loved one's
Visit Bologny for more useful and informative articles!