The term “bullying” today, unfortunately, is well known to many parents of children who have been bullied by their classmates. Bullying is a systematic repetitive bullying, violence against a specific student who, for one reason or another, is unable to defend himself. This problem can affect both a high school student and a child in grade 3-4. As a rule, this does not happen in grades 1-2.
For a child of any age, bullying becomes a difficult test. How can I help my child?
The content of the article:
- Signs of a victim – how do you know if a child is being bullied?
- Signs of an aggressor in school bullying
- Why is bullying at school dangerous?
- How to deal with bullying, stop child bullying?
Signs of a victim in school bullying – how do you know if your child is being bullied by other children?
Not every child admits to his parents that he has become a victim of bullying. And only the parents’ attention to the slightest changes in his condition will help to save the child from moral suffering and deep psychological trauma.
How to understand about a child’s affairs at school and his mood without questioning with prejudice?
Typically, the following symptoms can tell about bullying at school:
- The child often follows the lead of other children, is afraid to express his own opinion.
- The child is often offended, insulted, ridiculed.
- The child is unable to defend himself in a fight or argument.
- Bruises, torn clothes and a briefcase, “lost” things are common.
- The child avoids crowds, group games, circles.
- The child has no friends.
- During recess, the child tries to stay close to adults.
- The child is afraid to go out to the board.
- The child has no desire to go to school or extracurricular activities.
- The child does not visit friends.
- The child is often in a stressful state, in a bad mood. May snap, be rude, or withdrawn.
- The child loses appetite, does not sleep well, suffers from headaches, gets tired quickly and is unable to concentrate.
- The child began to study worse.
- Constantly looking for excuses not to go to school and began to get sick often.
- The child goes to school by different routes.
- Pocket money is often lost.
Of course, these signs can mean not only bullying, but if you find all these symptoms in your child, take urgent action.
Video: Bullying. How to stop bullying?
Signs of an aggressor in bullying among schoolchildren – when should adults be alert?
According to polls in the capital, about 12% of children have participated in the bullying of classmates at least once. And the figure remains greatly underestimated, due to the reluctance of children to publicly admit their aggression towards other people.
And it is not at all necessary that the aggressor is a child from a dysfunctional family. More often than not, the opposite is true. However, it is simply impossible to determine this or that social environment, because the status of the family does not at all affect the manifestation of aggression in the child. An aggressor can be a child from a rich and successful family, a “nerd” offended at the world, just a “leader” of a class.
Only a teacher, as a person who remains closest to children during the period of study, is able to spot the signs of incipient aggression in time.
But parents should also be careful.
An unambiguous reason is to be on your guard and take a closer look at the child’s behavior, if …
- He easily manipulates other children.
- His friends obey him slavishly in everything.
- They are afraid of him in class.
- For him there is only black and white. The child is a maximalist.
- He easily judges other people without even understanding the situation.
- He is capable of aggressive actions.
- He often changes friends.
- He was more than once “caught” by you for insults, ridiculing other children, in fights, etc.
- He is moody and cocky.
Of course, it is shameful, scary and painful to learn that your child is a participant in bullying. But the label “aggressor” is not a sentence for a child, but an excuse to help your child cope with this ordeal.
Remember that children become aggressors for a reason, and the child will definitely not be able to cope with this problem alone.
Video: Children’s bullying. How to deal with bullying in school?
Why is bullying at school dangerous?
Alas, bullying is a frequent occurrence today. And not only in schools, and not only in Russia.
Among the varieties of this phenomenon, one can also note:
- Mobbing (approx. – mass bullying in a team, psycho-terror). An example of the phenomenon is well shown in the movie “Scarecrow”. Unlike bullying, only one student or a small group of “authorities” can be a mobber, not the whole class (as in bullying).
- Huizing. This type of violence is more common in closed institutions. It is a violent “rituals of initiation”, a kind of “hazing”, the imposition of degrading actions.
- Cyberbullying and cyberbullying. This cyberbullying is usually transferred to the virtual world from the real world. As a rule, the victim does not even know who exactly is hiding behind the masks of offenders who offend her, send threats, bully her on the Web, publish the victim’s personal data, etc.
The consequences of bullying can be dire. Such brutality can generate an even harsher response.
For example, most of the schoolchildren who were taken away from schools (in different countries) in handcuffs after shooting and stabbing are just victims of bullying, bullying, and open self-loathing.
Cruelty always “deforms” the child’s psyche.
The consequences of bullying can be:
- Retaliatory aggression and violence.
- Breakdowns on weaker classmates, friends, siblings.
- Psychological trauma, the emergence of complexes, loss of self-confidence, the development of mental disorders, etc.
- The formation of asocial traits in the child, the emergence of a tendency to various addictions.
- And the worst thing is suicide.
The child is bullied at school. humiliate and mock him – how to protect and teach him to resist school bullying?
How to deal with school bullying, how to stop child bullying – step-by-step instructions for adults
If the parents (teacher) know for sure about the fact of bullying, action should be taken immediately.
Any children who at least somehow stand out from the crowd can be at risk, but this does not mean at all that you need to become part of the herd. Independence must be defended.
Teach your child to behave correctly: you can be not like everyone else, but at the same time be the soul of the company, and not a person whom everyone wants to kick.
Overconfidence or hyper-shyness are the enemies of the child. You need to get rid of them.
- Collect virtues. That is, increase the child’s self-esteem and relieve him of complexes. Healthy self-confidence is the key to success.
- Good endurance is a character trait of a strong-willed person. To ignore with dignity is also a skill.
- Not to be afraid of anything. Everything here is like with dogs: if she feels that you are afraid of her, she will definitely rush. The child should always feel confident, and for this it is necessary to overcome fears and complexes.
- Develop a sense of humor in your child. In many situations, a timely joke is enough to cool hotheads and defuse the situation.
- Empower your child to communicate.
- Let your child express themselves. Do not drive it into the framework you have invented. The more a child realizes himself, the more trained his strengths become, the higher his faith in himself.
How can you help your child if he does become a victim of bullying?
- We teach the child to record the facts of bullying (voice recorder, camera, photos and screenshots, etc.).
- With proof, we turn to the teacher – and we are looking for a way out with the class teacher and the parents of the aggressors.
- We turn to a psychologist or psychiatrist (state, licensed!), Who can record the fact of moral harm inflicted on the child.
- If there are no changes, we write complaints to the school principal. Further, in the absence of a result – to the commission on juvenile affairs.
- If the reaction is still zero, we write complaints about the inaction of the above addressees to the Department of Education, the Ombudsman, as well as to the prosecutor’s office.
- Do not forget to collect all receipts – for medications for the child for the treatment of mental and other injuries, for doctors, for tutors, if you had to skip school because of bullying, for property damaged by the aggressors, for lawyers, and so on.
- We fix injuries, if any, and contact the police with a statement and a paper from the medical / institution.
- Then we file a lawsuit demanding compensation for moral damage and losses.
- Let’s not forget about the public outcry. It is he who often helps to quickly solve the problem and makes all the “cogs” in the education system move, and so on. Write posts on social networks in the relevant groups, write to the media that deal with such problems, etc.
And, of course, do not forget to instill confidence in the child and explain that bullying is not the problem.
Have you had similar situations in your life? And how did you get out of them? Share your stories in the comments below!
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