What to do if your child is bullied at school
School is those first steps into an independent life, which, alas, are often accompanied by problems with social adaptation, resentment and anxiety. Unfortunately, children’s conflicts are very common these days, and parents sometimes find themselves in a very difficult situation. What if your beloved child is offended at school? Is it worth interfering or would it be more correct to let the children figure it out on their own?
The content of the article:
How do you know if your child is being bullied at school?
Not every child will tell parents about school conflicts. One does not have a very trusting relationship with mom and dad, the other is simply ashamed, the third does not want to be called a weakling, etc. One way or another, children are often silent about the true state of affairs. To avoid more serious problems, you should be attentive to your child…
When should you be on your guard?
- The child is “not himself” – sad, angry, depressed; the child does not sleep well at night.
- Graduation falls at school.
- The teacher constantly leaves diary notes about delays, etc.
- Child’s belongings disappear – up to the eraser.
- The child regularly looks for an excuse to To stay home…
It happens that the child himself complains. Of course, the first reaction of any parent is to rush to school and show everyone “where the crayfish winter”. But panic is the last thing here. For starters it’s worth find out why a child is being bullied…
A child is being bullied at school – what could be the reason?
As a rule, the main reasons for conflicts between classmates are …
- Indecision and weakness child, inability to stand up for oneself.
- Physical weakness (chronic disease, etc.).
- Flaw in appearance, health (for example, glasses or limp, stuttering, etc.).
- Demeanor (boasting, arrogance or, on the contrary, cowardice, fearfulness).
- Less fashionable than peers, look.
- Low academic performance.
Regardless of the reason, in a situation where the child has nothing to oppose to the offenders, he is forced to put up with all the bullying. So it is important to understand how to act correctlyto help your child.
A child is bullied at school – how should parents act?
What do parents (especially busy ones) most often advise in this situation? To not pay attention. Of course, if a boy pulled a classmate by the pigtail, or someone called someone, then there is no conflict here, and this advice is quite correct. But if the conflict develops into a problem that affects the mood, academic performance and even the health of the child, then it’s time to resort to more efficient methods.
- Advice on turning the other cheek if the child was hit on the left is fundamentally wrong for modern children. Cowardly or submissively swallowing resentment, the child will initially have to come to terms with the role of the victim. The consequences for his subsequent development of himself as a person can be disappointing. Least, the child will withdraw into himself…
- Empathize, support emotionally and be there in any situation – this is the first task of the parent. The child should not be afraid to share their experiences with their parents. Your task is to correctly explain to the child why he is right or wrong, and what to do.
- Unambiguously don’t rush to school and punish the abuser… Firstly, you have no right to punish someone else’s child, and secondly, after your “act of revenge”, the child may start to be treated even worse. That is, the problem will not be solved, and the child will become a “sneak”.
- One of the options – get all parties together and come to a common solution… That is, both children, parents on both sides, and a teacher.
- The educator is the person who plays the primary role of the “referee” in the conflict. It is in the power of the teacher to both prevent conflict and competently reconcile the parties even before the parents intervene. It is the teacher who, first of all, must find a way to unite the conflicting parties – through conversation, friendly instruction, play or joint work. By the way, doing a task together is a very effective way to reconcile children.
- Send the child to the sports section – also a good educational moment. But the point is not only that your baby will learn to defend himself physically and will be able to “reflect the blow”. The head of the section should teach children from the point of view of educating the child’s leadership qualities and correct assessment of the situation. An experienced teacher teaches not to wave fists, but to develop self-confidence and resolve conflicts, primarily psychologically.
- Be detached when dealing with conflict. That is, try to set aside the emotions of the parent, who is ready to tear anyone for the tears of his crumbs, and look at the situation from the outside. That is, judiciously and wisely.
- Find a way to bring the children together. Throw a children’s party, holiday. Come up with a holiday scenario that will involve all parties to the conflict.
- If the source of the conflict is wearing glasses, problems with the pronunciation of sounds, etc., then you can (if possible) switch to contact lenses, take the child to a speech therapist etc. If the problem is overweight, sign up the child in the pool and engage in his physical form.
- The question of “fashion” at school has been at all times. The level of prosperity is different for everyone, and envy / resentment / bragging, alas, does take place. The introduction of uniforms in schools has partially solved this problem, but backpacks, jewelry, and various little things remain. In this case, parents and a teacher should explain to children that they need to be proud of their successes and achievements, and not beautiful and expensive things.
- Don’t ignore your child’s problems. Always be on the alert, be attentive even to the smallest details. This will help you prevent many conflicts in their infancy.
- If the conflict goes beyond the permissible, if we are talking about child cruelty with physical harm, persecution and humiliation, then here it is already the problem is solved at the level of the school principal and law enforcement officer.
Of course, it is important to eliminate possible sources of the problem, teach the child to open up from the best sides, give him the opportunity for self-realization, so that the child has grounds for pride in himself, for self-confidence. But also parental support outside the school is very important. Teach your child to stand up for themselves, believe in themselves, and be a strong and fair person.
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