When you already have children

How to answer tactless questions, for example, if they ask: “When will you have children?” or “Why haven’t you married yet?” tells the psychotherapist of the magazine COLADY.

When will you finally mature? “,” Are you going to give birth to children? “,” You have been married a whole life! Isn’t it time to think about children?“- well, of course, it’s time, you think. We have already tried everything – both ovulation tests and tests have passed, and folk ways to get pregnant, and IVF. But, apparently, up there, they think that they still need to wait. And there is absolutely no desire to answer these questions. And even to dryly and shortly cut off “Naturally, we are going”, there is simply no strength.

Tactless questions. How to react?

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How to be in this situation? What to answer when there are no more words for answers to incorrect questions? After all, the question “When will you have children?” can be not only tactless, but also very painful for some. Here, first of all, it should be understood with what intent the question is asked – with sincere concern or malice.

Usually, questions about children and families are asked to keep the conversation going. That is, just out of politeness. Of course, if you react to such a question too emotionally, you may at least be misunderstood.

But if such a question is asked by a person with a clear desire to pin you and provoke you, then a little sarcasm will not hurt.
The main thing when answering such questions is not to cross the border. You should not show that the topic is painful for you. The best option is to show that in no way such questions, no matter what they are dictated, do not offend you.

Don’t you want to answer at all? Say so. Or try to take the topic of conversation in a different direction.

Every woman who finds herself in this situation has a couple of duty phrases in case of such a question – sharp, caustic, different, in accordance with the case.

Sociologist’s recommendation

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Friends!

The “best defense is offense” rule is no longer effective! I believe that distance should be the best defense against tactlessness and rudeness. Put the boor and the impudent person in their place, but not verbally, but non-verbally! Show him your indifference. Get away from the conversation, holding your head high, it will also be useful to raise an eyebrow, showing a slight charity. Trust me, these non-verbal cues will tell your unpleasant person how you feel about her, saving you the trouble of answering an uncomfortable or inappropriate question.

How to answer the question: “When will you have children?”

  • We are working on this issue.
  • First you need to live for yourself.
  • For what purpose are you interested?
  • As soon as possible.
  • There are only a few hours left.
  • When the Lord gives, then it will be.
  • We’re not going to. Why? But because.
  • As soon as we solve the housing issue (finish the renovation, finish building the dacha, leave with our parents, etc.).
  • What children? I am practically a child myself!
  • We don’t even think!
  • We have not yet agreed on this project.
  • Only after you.
  • Soon. Just finish my coffee.
  • I’m just running to solve this issue.
  • Man proposes, God disposes.
  • You will be the first to know about it.
  • Don’t you think it’s just indecent to go into someone else’s personal life?
  • Is it time already? (eyes widening)
  • What children? I’m afraid of them!
  • We still have enough problems without children.
  • I liked the process so much that we decided not to rush.
  • Do you want to help?
  • We are waiting for the increase in the allowance for children.
  • Is it okay if our plans remain between me and my husband?
  • Exactly! Completely out of my head! Thank you for reminding me. I’ll run to look for my husband.
  • As soon as you gift us a separate apartment.
  • Now – no way. I’m at work! But after – just a must.
  • Immediately after conception I will send you a text message.
  • As soon as we return from the hospital, we’ll let you know. We are superstitious.
  • We have everything according to plan. On what? Do you care?
  • The older, the higher the chances of twins. And we just want it. In order not to give birth twice.
  • Why on earth should I report to you?
  • Do you have any other worries besides my personal life?
  • Let’s talk about this in five years.
  • Doctors have forbidden to think about it for the next couple of years.
  • Yes, we would be glad …
  • Would you like to hold a candle?
  • We’re busy saving the world. This will distract us.
  • HM. You know, looking at you, they changed their minds.
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Of course the list is endless. Those who find children “easy” can rarely understand those for whom this is a difficult and painful path. If you have your own thoughts, you can share them. The main thing – believe in yourself, and let no tactless questions become an obstacle on the way to your dream

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