In the understanding of most people, a strong personality is a leader. But in fact, this concept has a much broader definition. Today, a psychologist will tell the readers of Bologny magazine how to understand if your character has strong personality traits, and whether you can develop them in yourself on your own.
Definition of “strong personality”
In psychology, there are several definitions describing a strong personality. But which of them is the most correct is unlikely to be determined. This is due to the fact that people interpret this concept differently.
For example, for some, a strong personality is a person with a business acumen, for others – one who knows how to keep his emotions under control. Therefore, any concept of a strong personality can be correct.
Renowned politician and first President of the Republic of China Sun Yat-sen said: “Only strong people are free.”
Why is it important to be a strong personality in the modern world – commentary by psychologist Dmitry Sobolev
Why do you need to be a strong personality? To confront undesirable circumstances and overcome difficulties, to solve problems, to achieve their goals. Improve the quality of your life in various areas, self-actualize. And, in the end, to be satisfied with your life.
An unconditionally strong personality must have adequate self-esteem, self-confidence. Self-esteem and self-confidence is the person’s confidence that he can cope with the difficulties that arise. “I will be able to cope with difficulties, adversities, overcome obstacles on the way to my goals.” In addition, an indicator of strong self-esteem is a person’s belief that he is worthy of happiness.
In the modern world, a person needs flexibility, adaptability to some situations from the outside. The ability to think critically. These are also qualities that speak of the strength of the personality.
A strong person is a mature person who is ready and able to take responsibility for his life.
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3 signs of a strong personality
In fact, a strong-willed person has a lot of volitional qualities, many of which are rather difficult for others to perceive. But there are 3 main features that distinguish a strong person from the rest.
Fearlessness is not about the absence of fear as such. This is about a person’s ability to control him and not succumb to his influence, which is especially important in extreme situations. At the same time, it is important to understand that fearlessness is far from recklessness. That is, a brave person never acts under the influence of fleeting emotions.
Fearlessness, contrary to popular belief, is necessary not only for people serving in law enforcement agencies, but is indispensable in everyday life. This quality helps to solve many problems and unpleasant situations without succumbing to fear.
For example, it often happens that when our loved one is diagnosed with a serious, deadly disease, we are seized by a paralyzing feeling of fear of loss. And instead of trying to help cope with the disease, we fall into a depressive state of hopelessness. A fearless person, “rolling up his sleeves” rushes to solve the problem:
- looking for the best specialists;
- provides the necessary care;
- “Gets” rare or very expensive medicines, etc.
Fearlessness helps a person to “lock in” destructive emotions and act.
- The ability to listen
Few people think that the ability to listen and hear your interlocutor is also a sign of a strong personality. Currently, few can boast of having such a quality.
A person who does not know how to listen often uses in a conversation:
- negative topics;
- categorical objections;
- negative assessments;
It is important to remember that communication should bring moral satisfaction to all participants in the conversation.
The best interlocutor is considered to be the one who knows how to line up under the opponent according to:
- his values;
- rate of speech;
A very important point is eye contact. Have you noticed that it is very difficult to come to an agreement with a person who, during a dialogue, tries not to look into the eyes?
- Intolerance of excuses
A strong personality tries to cope with any, even the most difficult task, and, at the same time, does not seek excuses for himself if something does not work out. A person with a strong spirit, in this case, begins to look for other ways to solve the problem.
Strong personality traits
Of course, the traits of a strong personality are not limited to the three qualities described above. These include the following features:
- a responsibility;
- hard work;
- harmony with yourself;
- hard work and many others.
At the same time, it is absolutely not important that a person has all of them, without exception. Since a strong personality, it is primarily a person who takes responsibility for himself and his life. He does not depend on the opinions of other people, knows how to keep emotions under control and makes independent decisions without looking back at others.
It must be remembered that not a single person is endowed from birth with the qualities of a strong personality, and parents do not always instill them. But this does not mean that it is impossible to cultivate them in yourself on your own.
The famous Russian writer Leo Tolstoy said the following about the formation of a strong personality: “It’s all about thoughts. Thought is the beginning of everything. And thoughts can be controlled. And therefore, the main task of self-improvement is to work on thoughts. “
3 basic signs of a strong personality were named by psychologist, expert of Bologny magazine, Oksana Konovalova
- Emotional resilience and adaptability.
Since emotions are biological in nature, we cannot fully control them. A person with a normal psyche can and will experience the full range of emotions. A weak person will allow emotions to take possession of him, he will begin to act, as they say, on emotions. A strong personality is able to constructively accept and live any emotion, and then cope with it – to understand what it is about, for what, and consciously return oneself to an emotionally stable state.
- Self-acceptance and the right to be yourself.
A weak personality, as a rule, refuses his own attitudes and values, lives with an eye on the opinions of others, does not allow himself to be what she is. A strong personality sees and knows its pluses and minuses and makes a conscious decision – how to use them, what to change, develop, overcome. In general, a strong personality does not need the approval of society. And yes, a strong person can allow himself to be weak … sometimes.
- Strong yet flexible personal boundaries.
No matter how gentle, benevolent and vulnerable a person is, he is able to defend his views, beliefs, values, opinions. They say about such people “softly lay down, but hard to sleep.” He does not bend, does not compromise his interests without good reason, does not allow strangers into his territory, does not allow walking on the lawns in tarpaulin boots or spitting in the soul. Such a person can be called a strong personality. But the apparent activity and determination can just be a “trick”: for the sake of social benefit, a weak person will easily allow his beliefs to be trampled underfoot.
How a strong personality differs from a weak one – commentary by psychologist Olga Natalevich
A strong personality – the very concept has become a trend of our time. Everyone wants to become a strong personality, but you need to specifically understand which personality can be called strong.
Signs of a strong personality:
- knows what he wants and is able to achieve it;
- makes mistakes, falls, but gets up and moves on;
- knows how to forgive himself and others;
- is able to withstand the negative influence of society, the team (everyone smokes, she does not; does not drink to maintain a conversation; and at the same time feels comfortable);
- can manage their desires, postpone them in time – admits their mistakes, knows how to ask for forgiveness.
Signs of a weak personality:
- vague goals, stop halfway when obstacles arise;
- blames himself for mistakes, hardly forgives others;
- in the team takes the position of a conformist, adjusts to those around him;
- wants everything at once, because of this he often borrows money;
- always right, never ask for forgiveness.
How to become a strong personality
If you want to become stronger internally, first of all, realize that the path will be difficult and will take a rather long period of time. This is due to the fact that you have to change a lot in yourself, including your attitude to life and habits.
The following recommendations will help to cultivate strength of mind:
- Learn to voice your thoughts clearly and specifically. Otherwise, you will not be able to achieve what you want from both partners and subordinates.
- Talk less, listen more. This will help you build good relationships with others and earn their respect.
- Say no more often. Ability to refuse will help you to get rid of unnecessary obligations, which will make your life much easier. It is important to remember that you do not need to make excuses or explain your refusal in any way. At the same time, do not allow aggression.
- Let go of the habit of judging other people. Remember – everyone has disadvantages, as well as advantages. And a strong personality is simply not interested in taking up their time with gossip.
- Learn to enjoy every little thing. Rejoice every day, any even insignificant achievement, while not waiting for the approval of others. This is your victory, albeit a small one. The rest is irrelevant.
Determine what personality traits you would like to acquire, make a plan for their development and start working on yourself.
Revolutionary Pyotr Kvyatkovsky I thought that: “To become stronger than others, one must become stronger than oneself. “
Develop the qualities of a strong personality constantly, without missing a single day, and you will imperceptibly become the best version of yourself. Set goals and walk towards them, despite the obstacles! Do not be afraid of failures, because they do not matter for a strong personality.
How to become a strong personality – 3 steps from psychologist Irina Belousova
1) Learning to take responsibility for events in life
A strong personality does not live on expectations and excuses for their weakness, which are inherent in a less strong personality. Such a person stops such thoughts in the bud. This is his life and his responsibility for every step, his present is the result of his actions in the past.
The key word here is “pick up”. In case of failure, such a person will not lament over the wreckage of his life and lament, but will draw conclusions and move on.
2) Controlling your emotions
Of course, a person without emotions can be called a robot rather than a strong personality, because someday the system will fly and here it will be harder to recover.
No, that’s not the question. And in not getting into emotions at crucial moments. Often, excessive emotions give a distorted picture of what is happening around and do not allow the brain to make an informed decision.
Stop, exhale, assess the situation and make an informed decision: this is the algorithm for a strong personality.
3) Determining the value attitudes
This is what distinguishes a conscious and strong person from the main gray mass. The values that he adheres to no matter what, this is what flows through his veins, this is what does not change every Friday or with each new beat of life.
They change, but in a quality direction, scale, filling life with even brighter colors.
If we look at it in a larger aspect, then due to the person’s charisma these values become values and those of his environment.
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