As a father and teacher, I believe that the most important condition for raising a boy and a girl is having loving and adequate parents.
Now let’s consider how loving parents should raise their children correctly.
How to raise a boy correctly
If you are raising a boy, then he looks at his father and copies his behavior, character, actions, actions in relation to his mother. It is important that dad take care of mom, tell her every day that he loves her, was not stingy with affection, tried in various ways to make her life happy.
And mom needs to accept this with gratitude and respond in kind. Then the child will have an example of how to make mom happy. He will subconsciously want his future wife to be like a mother. And he will continue to build healthy relationships with his soul mate.
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How to raise a girl correctly
If you are raising a girl, then the situation is the opposite. The girl completely copies the mother’s behavior towards her father and subconsciously wants her future husband to be like her father. The girl tries to do the same as her mother, because she sees how her dad responds to her actions – he says that he loves, gives her gifts, care and attention.
From this we draw the general conclusion of the above axiom: you don’t need to educate your children. You need to educate yourself, learn to be an attentive and responsive partner, fulfill your responsibilities and give each other love. This is the kind of mathematics that works flawlessly. Therefore, each person is so similar to his parents: there is a conscious or unconscious copy of their behavior.
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Now let’s deal with some family problems that arise quite often.
What to do if the family is incomplete
You may ask, is it possible to build a happy family without one of the parents? On this topic in our magazine there is a wonderful article by a psychologist Alexandra Shakhova: “Which is better for a child: a bad father or none?”
It is believed that for a person there is almost nothing impossible, there would be a desire. Just the fact that the family is incomplete does not mean that the child will probably grow up incomplete and with some kind of psychological problems. However, this is a dangerous parenting situation, so the parent will need to make an appropriate effort. How to get out of this situation?
It all depends on the age of the child and the situation. Your best bet is to find someone who can replace (at least partially) the absent parent. In the case of a boy, the best option would be if the family has a grandfather. And if a girl grows up, then a grandmother. They may well compensate for the masculine or feminine energy in the family.
What to do if your parents have a bad relationship
Yes, unfortunately, there are a lot of such situations. What problems will follow from this? If dad is rude and uncivilized to his mother, constantly raises his voice to her, then the boy will remember this behavior model and will use it himself in the future. And the girl will harbor hatred or fear for men. Of course, no one wants such a future for their children.
If mom doesn’t respect dad, the situation will be reversed. It is difficult to solve the problem, but nevertheless it can be solved. It is in your best interest to mitigate such situations as much as possible. It is good if both parents wish it. At the very least, you should pretend that there is a warm relationship between mom and dad. This is necessary so that the child does not see what can negatively affect his mental health. But here I will note that children can see very well when they are lied to. If the relationship is very bad, then you should break up, and, perhaps, find another partner. In order not to return to the first problem.
So, if you decide to raise psychologically healthy and full-fledged children, then take into account all of the above conditions and tips. It is important that the upbringing of a boy and a girl will be different. The parent already independently regulates and corrects this. We also do not forget about the age of the child. It’s one thing when he is five years old, and another thing when he is twenty.
Invest more resources in yourself, develop, and then there will be no problems with raising children.
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