When good and kind is bad, or the fairy godmother is in a bad mood
Once a friend of mine said that he had done good – and he needed to run. For me it was sheer surprise. But, as it turned out, in life it is! Good people always have one stereotype of behavior. They worry about strangers in trouble. They give money to relatives, and sometimes it is free of charge, but for themselves they were not at all superfluous. They help their girlfriends to sit with the children, and at work they pull a lot on themselves.
The content of the article:
- You can’t always be good and kind!
- A wise parable about kindness
- From a good woman to a free one
- Signs of a free woman
One sacrifice, right? But at the same time, when you yourself are in trouble, then the line to help does not line up at all.
And I feel so sorry for myself!
So what happens? You feel sorry for close people, but they do not feel sorry for you at all.
Definitely, being kind and good is bad. Let’s figure out why.
You can’t be good all the time, it’s bad for a woman’s health.
This is a “one-sided game”, and a goal is always scored to you. After that you feel very, very bad.
Therefore, it is better if you make conscious decisions about:
- If you help, then you yourself want it.
- If you don’t help, it means that you don’t want it and you cannot.
Giving endlessly, you run out of your energy reserve. Nervous exhaustion will not allow you to recover quickly, and this process is very long.
Define for yourself A dose of kindnessthat you can painlessly give to someone.
A wise parable about kindness
If you do good and want gratitude, then this is – buying and selling…
There are 3 main things in life that you need to do in secret:
Alms is an element of your goodness to the world and people who need it, and your voluntary act of donation. Saint Nicholas the Pleasant secretly at night tossed a bag of coins to the father of his three daughters, thus helping him.
Therefore, if they give thanks, it is good, but if not, then it is not worth demanding or condemning for it.
You do good of your own free will, and it is better – in secret.
The rules for turning a good woman into a free woman
Rule # 1. Change the word “must” to the word “want”
The rule is simple – you must always perform actions that are useful to yourself.
If they are not useful, or are simply wasting your time, then ask yourself – “Do I really need this, do I want it?” And only then get down to this business.
Start fulfilling your own desires!
Rule # 2. Stop sacrificing yourself for the other person
As a rule, for the sake of loved ones, we are ready to move mountains. But this does not bring us pleasure, because we do a lot for them to the limit of our strength.
It is necessary to change the position of the victim. If you help with money, then you need to give as much as you will not mind if they do not return it.
At the same time, help remains help: you helped, you will be happy, the relationship will not be broken.
Rule # 3. Good = free. Only in this way, and not otherwise!
“Good girl” is a category of a comfortable, trouble-free person, whose kindness is used by many people.
In our consciousness we perceive ourselves as a person better than whom no one can cope, he is a “magic wand”. But this, alas, is also a position, far from the concept of “free woman”.
Rule # 4. Learn to say no
“No” – to what you are not interested in and do not need.
Learn to say “no” when it’s not working at all.
And to refuse – you also need to learn, because a “good girl” always has remorse about a refusal.
Rule # 5. Stop controlling everything
Control girls spend a tremendous amount of energy to keep everything in sight and to command everyone.
You can ask, but checking everything and endlessly getting into all the processes is a very difficult and conflicting lesson.
But living free in the ordinary world is much more interesting and easier, and also more fun!
Rule # 6. Do you want to be right or happy?
When a person wants to be always right, everyone begins to reject him, considering him a “know-it-all.”
Do you always need to be right if you need to build communications with people? Probably, it is useful to listen to another point of view too, to take it into account – the opponent will be grateful to you.
You will gradually become a “good girl” – a “free adult woman” if you apply these rules.
Signs of a free woman
- Joy and love of life.
- Freedom from other people’s opinions.
- Your desires and goals.
- Resource security, including money.
- Harmony in the soul.
Listen to yourself, your desires – this is the greatest blessing for a woman.
Are you a free “woman?
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